Who Am I?


I wrestle. Every day. Every patient. You see somewhere in my mind over the past five years of medical training, I decided that some patients deserved more than others. More time. attention. affection. love. grace. Somewhere along the way, I began to hoard my grace, giving it out when it was convenient. felt right. You see, there are priorities in medicine. Anyone who has any type of medical training knows the ABC's- airway, breathing, circulation. You know when someone is toxic and when they just need some time and rest. 

  But I have developed new priorities. None that I was taught... at least not open and intentionally in a classroom. But our natural human reaction is to rank need. Let me give you an example from my daily thoughts...  the malnourished, dying child is above the wealthy, obese adult. The child who is in the NICU fighting for his life is above his mother who has been strung out on drugs for her entire pregnancy. The patient who can't breathe well and continues to be admitted to the hospital for asthma exacerbation over their spouse who smokes in the home and car... You see where I am getting with this? I battle these scenarios constantly. 

So as His mercies are new each morning towards me (and thank Jesus that it is EACH morning, not every other, once a week, when it's convenient for Him, or when He feels like it!), I will continue to ask for overflowing and abounding grace so that I may extend it to others.. to those who I have judged and placed farther down on the priority list. And may my list start to dissolve a little more every day.

Who am I to determine rank?
May I follow His lead.

"... I now realize how true it is that God does NOT show favoritism but accepts men from EVERY nation who fear him and do what is right." - Acts 10: 34-35

Because of His Grace,


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