family fall 2016

family fall 2016

Saturday, January 28, 2017

The enneagram

For Christmas, my dear friend Hannah gave me this book: 

 


Our small group read it together and have been discussing our "numbers". It has been so life giving and led to many wonderful discussions with friends and family. It has also widened my perspective of how others see the world and helped me be slower to anger and frustration and quicker to offer grace. Not everyone is like me... nor should they be.. novel concept. 

Do you know anything about the enneagram? If so, have you discovered your number? What about the ones you love? It has been fascinating to be able to put myself a little more into my parent's,, children's, friend's, and Jeremy's shoes. Don't guess others numbers. Let them tell you. 

I used this free questionnaire. Often, people will tie in a certain number or need to do more research on their top 3 or so before typing themselves. 

I am a 2 with a 1 wing 😀 so when my kids decide they don't need me anymore, let me do something for you 😬 I kid, I kid (kinda)

"Who am I if I'm not needed?"

Jesus has me wrestling with this identity question of course. 




Saturday, January 14, 2017

Self-regulation

Between the holidays and doctors appointments, we have had some high stimulation, intense moments over the last month. 

I have watched my girls flip upside down on couches and hang over my lap. They have intentionally  isolated themselves at times and craved our laps. 

These forms of self-regulation are not limited to vulnerable children or even children.  I do yoga as much as I can these days in attempt to regulate myself. 

 




BUT... 4 years ago, they had very little idea how to regulate themselves and were dependent on us to help and protect them from over stimulation. 

We would have meltdowns lasting multiple hours. Even when we knew they were safe, they did not "feel safe". Department stores, loud noises, strong scents,  large family gatherings, meal times and parties are common triggers. 

When you are caring for a vulnerable child or love a person who is highly sensitive (pronounced responses to stimuli regarding any of the 5 senses), helping them learn to avoid triggers and coping strategies will serve you well.  

As a parent, my gut reaction is to have them sit down and be still, look everyone in the eye when they are talking, and stay in the middle of the party. This does not help them and will often lead to melt downs then or later and draw more attention than the coping behaviors. 


Excellent read to understand why self regulation is compromised in children who have endured trauma no matter their age. 
Caught Between the Amygdala and a Hard Place


Friday, January 6, 2017

1:1 time

We have talked about intentional 1:1 time with our girls for awhile. 

Talking and doing are two very different things. 

We would grab a date with our girls a few times a year once we started seeing bad behavior and attachment issues crop up but we wanted to be more proactive. 

Jeremy and I both have this thing of setting real high standards for ourselves... sometimes good and sometimes totally unrealistic. 

So last night he had Portia change out of her pajamas and took her to play cards and get hot chocolate for 1 hour. 

It wasn't the elaborate ice skating date we had envisioned but it was "the best part of her day" and we will cherish these moments. 

Be intentional about investing in your people 1:1. Let them know they matter. 

 


Monday, January 2, 2017

"Money, possessions, and eternity"

I love to read if I can manage to stay up past my muchkins or wake up before. I'm starting with this one this year. Anyone read it or want to read with me? It was one of jers required readings for CLC.

Lord, may we be good stewards of the resources you have entrusted to us in 2017.