He is a father to the fatherless THROUGH US... let us not tread lightly
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Doesn't waiting reveal our faith? Whether we are going to trust Him or not?
Convinced that I was once a patient person... I began to wonder why this adoption journey of waiting was/ is SO HARD for me... then I began to look around the world i live in...
on time + schedule + 2 lane drive-thrus + billboards with waiting times for ERs + smart phones +
high-speed internet + banking from home (or really anything from home) =
I have come to expect it, even demand it and after a gentle reminder from a coworker yesterday... I realized I am transferring that demand onto HIM. I want a timeline for our adoption. Why wouldn't I? The first question out of everyone's mouth is "When will your kids be home?" I politely answer "We don't know, I hope in the summer" while deep down, I'm screaming "Please don't ask me that again!! I have no idea!" Maybe it's because I don't want a constant reminder of the waiting or because I feel so out of control. Do I trust the promise He made to us on January 6, 2011? Do I trust that He is able to do far beyond all that we could ask or imagine? By my thoughts and my actions, the answer is no. I want it done faster, not in His time. In my time. I missed another birthday, another 1st day of school, another skinned knee, and another prayer to HIM. Everyday I long to hold them, to kiss them, to tell them I love them and then I realized I have longed for them more than I have longed for HIM.
He has whispered to me...
Be still daughter and know who I am. Turn your longing towards me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
A year after he made the promise to me, He has sealed it and so I wait.. with eyes looking up, not to what lies ahead.