FEAR

FEAR... let's just call it what it is... A STRAIGHT LIE FROM SATAN.

 ^"for God gave us a spirit NOT of fear 
but of POWER and LOVE and SELF-CONTROL."- 2 Timothy 1:7

But oh how it manifests itself as our "protector", keeping us in what we think is "a safe place" where we can be in CONTROL and say NO if something "doesn't fit in our life" or makes us uncomfortable or is not "in your family's idea for your life." 

Satan has been on his "A game" since we passed court for the adoption. I learned a valuable lesson the other day: Satan doesn't waste his time going after those on his own team. He wants those on the front lines of the Lord's battle, the ones Jesus' loves..  And Jesus allows it... 

He prunes those He loves.

FEAR has and can manifest in many different ways in my life and yours.

• Fellow adoptive moms have shared the truth and rawness of the first year at home (which I long for by the way if any of you moms are reading this :)  What the Lord intends for wisdom and mentoring; Satan twists into "You are going to lose your own identity and your friends will abandon you because they won't understand."
• My hunny's calling to go to law school in the 7th grade to work with child trafficking.
• Lie:Your husband just wants to go to school longer so he doesn't have to work. He will never be home to help because law school is hard. He may never use his law degree in a "formal American" sense to provide for your family. You have to go back to work after your girls have been home for 3 months so you don't lose your insurance and provide to put food on the table. Every other adoptive mom you know gets to stay home and pull their kids out of school if they are not ready yet. What if your girls are not ready (Seriously?! Can you say ENTITLEMENT (aka one of Satan's best lies) and what the heck does "ready" mean?! Are we ready to parent two human beings... umm no! You better perform well at work so you don't get sued and lose your job. These are people's lives you're dealing with (really?! but now you get a glimpse of what goes on in my crazy head and the way Satan can send me in a spiral).
• Truth: Law school is hard!! but my husband values his relationship with the Lord and his girls over any grade! This is a season and my husband is being faithful in what He has been called to. I TRUST THEM (Jesus and my hunny). Does he want to provide for our family, absolutely! He has stepped up in so many ways. Confession: I have maybe made 3 meals (maybe) since we were married over 2 years ago. I have a keeper! Will we make sacrifices for him to go to school? Yes, every day I will have to die to self... but I wouldn't want it to be any other way.
• One of our angels has a birth deformity and one of her legs is 4 inches longer than the other. We will be having surgery shortly after she gets home.
• Lie: You are going to traumatize a child who has recently been stripped of everything she knows by putting her through surgery. You are in a rush to have her surgery so you can go back to work. She will be in a full body cast for 2 months and you will have to carry her everywhere and probably wont sleep. She will most likely have raging fits because she doesn't trust you yet and will feel so out of control when you confine her. You are taking away from her sister because you won't be giving her as much attention. blah blah blah blah blah...
• Truth: "I AM THE GREAT PHYSICIAN" I have blessed you with the gift of knowledge of the human body and you know how to care for this child. She may always have a limp to remind her of me but I will take away her shame and embarrassment through this surgery. She will be in a full body cast and go back to total dependence on you so that she will learn to trust again and attach to you. Many people will come to know me through the redemptive story of this child- Jesus.

It's not only me the deceiver is after.. It's you too if you claim the name of "CHRISTian". You can maybe relate to the "spiral effect" that so often plagues me or maybe it manifests physically for you and your family. Don't be afraid to call Satan out in the midst of physical pain. Go to the elders of your church and have them anoint you with oil (James 5:14).  For one of my friends on the front line of orphan care; it is manifesting as severe hip pain with a normal MRI and a toddler with a possible broken foot. For another giving her life to high school kids through Young Life; it is the fear of infertility and comparison and things happening that haven't even happened yet (That's a daily one for me). For a woman whose parents are on their knees in prayer over her life; it is the destruction of domestic violence. THE WAR IS WAGING!

Satan will back you into a corner and make you say NO to things. He will pin you against the people you love most. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."- John 10:10.

By letting fear reign in our lives, we MISS OUT! You say NO to things that may bring you the greatest JOY and LIFE. Two years ago I feared these things when we were deciding whether to adopt or not:

1. our age (Jeremy was a senior in college)

2. married for only 7 months at this point, need time for "US"

3. both in school with an intention for Jeremy to go back to school for possibly 4 more years!
 (We are currently on year 2/4).

4. desire to travel the world and go on more mission trips (the idea that it's harder with children)

5. money (or lack of according to the world's standards)

Man... we would have missed out BIG TIME. 

He has SO much LIFE for you sweet child. It usually comes down in the trenches... with the lonely, outcast, orphan, homeless, widow, abandoned, prostitute, addict,  teenage mom. 

Don't not go there out of fear. It is paralyzing. Our life is but a breath. 

We don't have time to be crippled by fear.