Not where I belong
Alone. afraid. discontent. confused. outcast. let down. I have felt these emotions on a daily basis over the past few months. I have felt them personally and on behalf of others, namely orphaned children and widows/ single mothers. I have wanted to move to Africa because I don't feel at home here. Will I feel at home there? Probably not. Because THIS IS NOT MY HOME OR YOURS if you LOVE our MAKER with all your heart, soul, and mind. I am at the point where I am way more scared to feel at home and comfortable here than not. We were never intended to be here forever. We were not made for safety, comfort, and to "fit in". WE WERE MADE FOR SO MUCH MORE. On this quest to live my life in a way that brings glory to the one who made me and love the things He loves, I have found hard. broken. abandoned. I am surrounded by a close knit of families who love serving the least of these, but step too far out of that bubble and you get hostility, ignorance, and lack of support to be frank. All too often, I find myself trying to defend it, prove why it's important. I hear Him whispering "Eyes on Me.... Thoughts on Me.... Heart on Me." This world is passing. What you are fighting for is worth more than other's approval.
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." ~ Colossians 3:2-3
So often I find myself saying when ___ happens (whenever I drink THAT water), then I will be happy and He will use me there and I won't be thirsty for more.
When I.... finish school..... get a job.... have children.... move to Africa.... the list goes on and on and it looks different for every person.
"...Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." ~John 4:13